Saturday, December 22, 2007

Tired? At Christmas time??

What? Am I 70?

Usually at this time of year I am relaxed and caught up on my sleep, and anticpating Christmas Eve and Day. But today I am tired and not really relaxed and trying to figure out who's house I'm going to and when, and "helping" (quotation marks for my sisters) to plan a service while practicing for and playing with Don and my Dad every day this week! AND I'm still not done my shopping!

The gigs that Don fixed us up at were actaully really fun, but they take most of my energy, and three nights in a row is sure to waste anyone.

Anyway, I'm not going to actually relax until Christmas day, which is fine, but that's a little less then a week away... So, I'll take a short break in blogging, about a week, then I'll have great stories to share!

So until then, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Ode to Egg Nog

well more like a farewell...

oh, egg nog.
smooth, creamy egg nog.
i will miss your rich flavour,
and comforting scent.
i will miss the joy you bring me
during this cold and dark winter.
as you sit in the fridge,
longing to be consumed,
i will, with much regret, close that
fridge door and try to live without you.

there will be times, yes, that i can
enjoy your delectable taste,
but one sip here, or one sip there is now
all that i take of your lactose-filled goodness
without having to pay the price
of no tolerance for you....

oh, egg nog!
this is my farewell
to drinking litres of you and enjoying every
last drop.
you will be missed,
but i know that i will one day take the pain
for you;
i will endure the consequences for your
soft, creamy satisfaction,
just to have you once more.

until then, farewell (sniff) egg nog.

Monday, December 03, 2007

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

I was driving home last night and all the Christmas lights on most houses were lit up and reflecting in the freshly falling snow... it was beautiful. I am surprised how every year I feel the same goofy, happy excitement flow through me, and it's never less than the year before.


Then I heard that the weather people say this is going to be one of the coldest winters yet. And if that's true, I know all I will remember this time next year is not my cold toes or harsh winds, or frozen locks, but my warm house with pretty lights, the wonderful scent of pine throughout the my house, full bellies, kind words, beautiful carols sung by my family and chocolate..... mmm Christmas chocolate is the best.

so with all that said, there are only 12 days left until I am free to indulge myself in all the above, and I hope it's not too long for the rest of you too...

Happy early Christmas everyone!


Monday, November 19, 2007

ohhhhhhh...... myyyy.......

so. driving home from minneapolis last night I was trying to relax and listen to jack johnson. I was trying not to think about the day before; the confusion, the stress, the anger, stupid second guessing, the gas that was wasted, not to mention the time..... if you have ever been lost before, I'm sure the last few sentence gave it away. anyway, back to jack johnson, the song "staple it together" came on and in one verse he says something like 'hate is such a strong word', and I would agree with it. and I also try not to use it unless I really mean it.

as of right now, I HATE MINNEAPOLIS.

I'm sorry to those who live there who probably think of it how think of my home city, but I have never been lost like that before. I'm sure that all my sisters will be blogging about this (and others who had similar experiences recently...) and all I can say is I will mostly agree with them on their rantings.

it will be a while before I go back, and all I can sum up from my tired mind are these little sayings...
BLAST YOU 694!!!!!

BLAST you FRANCE AVE!!!

BLAST YOU WHITE BEAR AVE!!!!

BLAST YOU 100!!! BLAST YOU ALL!!
oh and Snelling..... a BIG BLAST FOR YOU!!!!!

and for me sisters,
memorable quotes, from our weary and over wrought heads:

kim - "Hey look! Gas!" (<- meaning geese)
pam - "It would really suck if there was a highway on this interstate..."
cor - "I. Hate. John. Martin. Ave."
kim- "Oh tiger snails, zebra muscles, same thing..."
(and my favourite)
bec- "Yea, like, they don't have a skunk skwak--skwak--!"

and.... one lesson, of many, we learned:
'don't buy milk shakes on road trips... bad things happen...'

Thursday, November 08, 2007

new coat! new coat!

well this was on sale and I really liked it, and I kind of needed a new one... kind of... but it was on sale!

anyway, I'm very happy with this purchase. I don't usually blog about the things I buy, but this was all I could think of at the moment.

I definitely don't look like that underneath... or let my mid rift show like that... or put excess amounts of lip shiner on, and I try not to take pictures of myself with my head cut off, but that's the jacket none the less. And I like it.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Ha Ha! I have conquered!

So, for all of you who didn't see me crying about this at church, I have lessened my load at school and feel about 88.7 times better than I did before. And just to clear up a little confusion, I didn't quit school altogether, I just dropped two out of the six I was taking, which is why I have the feeling of conquering something.... my own stubborness.

I don't feel that my decision is taking the "easy way out", on the contrary, actaully. I need to finish this degree in my own time, with the skills God has given me. I was lacking energy, and motivation and love for school, and I am just really tired of being at Prov. for so long; 3 and a half years (for someone who doesn't really enjoy "school") at this college is getting to me, and I need a break.



And on the brighter side, I have a wedding to plan! and songs to write! and music services to organize. All things to which I have passion and love and joy for! So why not do those things now? when they are so prominant in my life? School can wait for me, and I can wait for it. The thought of having a piece of paper with my accomplishments on it is cool, but for now I have most those accomplishments up here (I'm pointing to my head)!

So that's it. I feel great! and it's a Monday... go figure...

I think I'm happy.

Monday, October 22, 2007

monday, monday...

woke up with headache and puffy eyes.
forgot breakfast and lunch.
made my carpool wait.
don't feel prepared for anything this week.
nick leaves in 6 days.
not a great start to a busy week.
why shouldn't I be happy today?

Thursday, October 18, 2007

A Cyst-Kabob!

Ha ha...haa.... Hmm. I guess that's not so much funny as disgusting...

Anyway, I don't think many of you knew that I had an MRI a couple of weeks ago to look at my lower back at two discs that have, as far as I know, bulged out enough to put pressure on my sciatic nerve that is causing me numbness in the underside of my left leg, to put it shortly.

So, I got the results today and the doctor bascially told me what I just typed for you above. BUT, (there is always a "but", it seems) He also told me that I have a cyst on one of my ovaries. He called it a "Functional Cyst". I didn't really know what that was all about so I didn't ask the doctor, of course, I turned to the Internet in my quest for information! Google and Wikipedia to be exact, and found this:

Some, called functional cysts, or simple cysts, are part of the normal process of menstration. They have nothing to do with disease, and can be treated.

And here are a few facts about ovarian cysts: (some of you may not be interested...)
-An ovarian cyst is any collection of fluid, surrounded by a very thin wall, within an ovary
-Most ovarian cysts are functional in nature, and harmless (like, in the forest?) ha haa....
-Ovarian cysts affect women of all ages

I was told that this is not something to be worried about, but that it would be wise to get it checked out to be safe, of course. So that's what I'm going to do. And I'm not worried, I'm actually worried about the way I must get it checked out... ug-ghh...

ANYWAY... that's what's happening in the wonderful world of Kim.

prayers are welcome.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

it just happens to be a thursday... and it sucks.

Getting up out of bed is becoming increasingly harder every morning. I got up today and the sun hadn't risen yet, and when it is still dark out and I have to wake up and start my day I basically have to convince myself every minute that it actaully is morning and I need to start doing something to get ready for the day even thought it looks like it's midnight and I should be in bed. I hate this time of year only for that reason, so much so that I would write a crazy run-on sentance and not even care what Cynthia or Corrie think of it.

When the frick does the time change happen now?
This time change thing is stupid.
I wish I lived in Saskatchewan.
I'm grumpy today.
And I'm hungry.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

thanks and giving

the time of year came and went again: thanksgiving. it was good. I ate too much, did too much laying around, and sleeping, but it was all very restfull. my family and I were at the cabin and it was probably the worst weather I can remember for Thanksgiving weekend, but it did force me to be unactive which was good for my back. But then I got a bit sick, so I had to be unactive the rest of the weekend...
anyway, I had two dinners to go to, which were both delicious and pleasing. I love food, and I love family. Thanksgiving is just like Christmas, but without presents (which I kind of like for a change) and it was especially like Christmas last night when on the way home from the Oost's it starting snowing! you should have seen the faces on Nick and his dear brother. I thought they might cry they were so excited....

so, that was my thanksgiving; I didn't do a lot of giving this year, but I sure did a lot of thanking!

I wish I had some pictures to show of my relaxing weekend, but I'm afraid I didn't take any pictures. however, one of my sisters did and hopefully she can post an AWESOME blogy blog about what we did on our "Thanksgiving weekend Inside" (hint hint pam...)

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Loonie



Today I found a loonie and I was fairly surprised at my reaction to the situation, or lack thereof. You know when you were a kid and you saw money on the ground? I used to be so excited when it happened. One time I found a five dollar bill and thought I had gone to heaven...
But today, I was not at all overjoyed to find a loonie on the ground in a parking lot, mind you I was late for a class, but usually I'm genuinly excited to find any kind of money.

Then I thought, When did I become so boring? My reaction was like this: "Ooooo..."
And "Ahhhhh..." (Both with a hint of sarcasm)


My reaction should have been more like this: "HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL!! I FOUND A LOONIE!!! DID EVERYONE SEE THIS? A LOONIE!!"
But now I'm thinking that maybe I was so numb about the whole experience because I just spent 200 of these pretty little coins on textbooks in the last month and now this loonie just seems so... insignificant. And I can't buy much with one loonie any more...
Oh well. I'll spend it anyway.
Moral of this story: It doesn't matter if you are excited or not about someting you found, just take it and use it and be happy you got something for nothing.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

This never gets old...

well maybe, but I'm not sick of it.

(watch only if you have time...):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9Kty0DXD-8

Friday, September 21, 2007

If you ever want to see a guy vulnerable, just get him to fall in love with you

ahh... back to my old self.

I love paintings. I can lose myself in one and it's meaning... what was the artist thinking? feeling? experiencing? that would lead them to paint such a thing...


Today my painting is called "The Kiss".

Painted by Edvard Munch in 1902.


It's kind of hard to make it out, but the pose and even just the act itself is portrayed as so delicate, which I think it is (hense my post title).

I don't think I've ever seen a man so vulnerable as when he is in love with a woman.

I also love how the atmosphere around them is almost non-exsistent, just a blur; nothing else matters.

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.” Emil Ludwig
Have a good weekend everyone!!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

The Date

I think Nicholas and I have actually set a date for our wedding. We had kind of settled on June 2008 as the month, but now a day has been selected! Yay. June 28, 2008. I think that is a nice date. Nick nodded when I asked him, so I guess that means he's alright with it...

If you are reading this you'll probably be invited, so book your calendars now! Yay.

On a different and more of a "feel sorry for myself" note, I don't know how many of you know but I have been having lower back trouble for a while, starting with a couple of slipped discs that started to pinch my sciatic nerve. That injury was well on it's way to being healed, when I thought a canoe trip would do me some good. It was a great trip, but not as "good" for me as I thought.

So, I came home with a badly pinched sciatic nerve with pain and numbness all the way down my left leg. I know, wah wah wah.... But anybody who has ever had trouble with their sciatic nerve will be sympathetic to me.

IT SUCKS.

When I went to my chiropractor for the second injury of the summer, he looked me up and down as I gimped into the room and said, "You've really done it this time, haven't you?" Thanks. Thanks a lot. He then preceeded to tell me I was too young for this to happen to me, blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, it's still numb, and I have no movement in my two smallest toes on my left foot. This is very frustrating. I do actaully feel like a Gimp. Becky has taken to calling me Gimpy and I'm pretty okay with it. Some days are better than others, I don't feel that much pain anymore, but the limp in my every step is just a constant reminder that I actaully am a Gimp...

I'm doing everything the doctors told me to do; taking anti-inflamitories, do daily stretches and just trying to keep positive. With these things in place, recovery time is any where from months to over a year. Yay... : ( not really) Although, I haven't been praying about it. I don't know why not, it just seems like it's going to get better. Simple-mindedness must really frustrate God. But I would like to ask for prayer for healing, even if it's just once and a while when you remeber. I would really appreciate it. I will try and do he same.

So, the "feel sorry for myself" part was longer than I expected... But none the less this was a better bloggy blog than most.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

I guess I'm set

So.... Lo and behold, I have entered the realm of the cellphone owners, kind of. I have to say, I never thought that I would own one but as I held it in my hand this morning I found that I do.

It's a nice one, free with the plan of course, no extra "features" as they call them. I'm going the cheapest way I can with this one.

Example: Yesterday I was on my way home from school when I thought, Why don't I call my Mom at home to see if she needs anything fromthe store while I'm still out? But because it was before 6 pm, and I knew that Nick (the buddy of my plan) was at my house at the time, I called his cell to ask my mom if she needed anything from the store, to save on daytime minutes (because virtaully every phone call between me and him are free) (*buddies!!). I'm so smart.

this is what it looks like...


but not that tiny, it's full size.


Anyway,that's my news for today, must go do more important things like learn.


Wednesday, September 05, 2007

School? Again?

Oh boy...

Today I registered for my last semester of college, I hope..... haha.
It was nice to know that I never have to do that again, or at least
for a while. I'm just ready to be done.

Classes start tomorrow, so here goes nothing.....

Monday, August 13, 2007

I'm ENGAGED!!! to NICK!!!


Ha ha... I thought I would make it very clear...




Anyway, we are very happy and letting it sink in for the moment...



And here's the ring, for those of you who haven't seen it yet:



And the story that goes with it is just as simple as the ring itself,
which is very fine by me. The way Nick asked me was very 'him',
simple and funny. We had just finished watching Tortilla Soup (a
cute little movie...) Then after a short bathroom break I took,
I returned to the couch to watch CTV news (how exciting, I know.
this is a very typical night for me an nick... not that I'm complaining)
And if I would have known that he was going to ask me to marry
him when I was returning from the washroom, I think I would have
noticed the hint of nervousness that he was giving off... but I was
pleasently surprised when he popped the question. And then I
started laughing like an idiot, and then even more so when he
gave the unopened box to me and said, "So....um... Will... you marry
me?" Ha ha.. it was really cute actaully, except for my annoying
laughter in the background, which I'm sure made him even more
nervous...


so that's the big story, not a lot of 'romance' but very much the
way I would have imagined it to go. Oh, and I forgot the part
where he was going to put the ring on my finger and jokingly
started to slip it onto my index finger, which made my nervous
laugh even more enjoyable to listen to....


that is the happy story
and the beginning of our happy story...









Sunday, July 22, 2007

Yes, I am lazy...

I am so not up to date on my bloggy blog.
Nothing new really...
Folk Fest was great, had fun, no crazy burn this time.
Working a lot still, but it's much more boring now...
it's 35 degrees out today. I'm just sweating sitting here
typing this. pretty gross, but I love it...
that's it. too hot. need water.


Monday, June 18, 2007

Young Performers....

well, it's been a long time since I blogged about anything... but since the last update on my life I have been excepted to the Young Performers program at FOLK FEST!!!! YE HAWW!!!

anyway, I'm super excited! And starting to get nervous... so I have to get with it and practice more than I have been... which is not a lot at the moment, but I do have 91.2 hours on my last pay cheque!! haha... time well spent. oh ya my job at the greenhouse is going very well, I'm having fun, and the people I work with are really great and the people are what usually makes or breaks a job, so that's good!

so that's my update. and if you haven't yet, check out myspace at:
http://www.myspace.com/kimvanaertselaer

bye bye!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

MY SPACE

I caved... I thought I was never going to have a myspace... but low and behold.... i have one.

and you will all be happy, because I put my music on it.

oh and Tina, you can finally here that song I wrote for Nicholas
it's the first one that will play!

hope you all enjoy it! more to come!

http://myspace.com/kimvanaertselaer

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

SO

It's my birthday tomorrow and I'm turning 21 !!!
so happy for me...

and I started a new job and Ron Paul's Garden Centre
it's really good.

my back is slowly getting better
and that's really good too.

I'm also applying to the Young Performers thing at Folkfest and am thoroughly excited. I hope something good comes of it
and this is also really good.

so that's all really good...

good.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Good-Bye Milk (*tear)

I can't believe I forgot to blog about this, but I found out the
real cause of my bloaty-gas-erupted-spleen thingy.


Turns out it's not really bad gas.

I'm lactose intolerant.

Double frick!!


Anyway, I'm thankful that it's not anything worse, but it still sucks.
I really love milk so much and every other dairy product out there.
And I can eat and drink dairy products, but I have to take a pill
before I do, and I can only eat and drink so much of it.... it is not
very fun.

So, below is a cartoon of "me" (with short hair) wearing my
grandma's sweater:



What it doesn't show is the next frame of "me" throwing the
yogurt across the room and crying...

Thursday, April 05, 2007

oh boy ohboyohboy...

So, back from Ontario.
Had a great time.
Drank a lot of wine.

Here's me and Nick at the wedding



And here's Nick how I know him

Thursday, March 29, 2007

blog?

bloggy, blog, blog blog. Blog blog blogger bloggy blog blog. blog, bloggy blog blog blogger blog, blog blog bl-og! bloggy, blogger blog blog bloggy blogger. Blog!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I'm so alone.....

and bored... and sick of school still.

so I made a whole bunch of countdowns:
(sorry bec and cynthia, I have no problem with
writing a list of 11 items, though it might bug you)

0 days until spring!

10 days until I go to ontario!

14/15 days until my parents and bec come home!

17 days until my next day off! ( I mean holiday)

34 days until I'm practically done school! yay!!

37 days until John Mayer!!

38 days until my friends Paul and Jeanette get married!

42 days until I start work!

43 days until my 21st birthday!

93 days until the first day of summer!

AND 107 days until FOLK FEST!!! YeHaW!!

that's it.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

back to school...

So I'm back at school and even though I have tons of work to do and to catch up on still... I'm doing pretty well.

here are some random
things that happened recently:

- I got a job yesterday at a greenhouse. I start May 1st! yay for me!
- There is this girl I go to school with that looks sooo much like Maggie Gyllenhaal,
it's wierd.

that's all.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Kim's Week-O-Fun!

Okay, so here's what happen so far during my Week-O-Fun
(aka. reading week...)

number 1 NO Homework! AAAHAHAHA! (yet...)

number two SLEEPING IN! aaaahahahah... okay that's enough of that.
but I don't really like sleeping in too long, so nine o'clock is good good.

number trois Went to the Spa... ahhh..... nice....
no really, I got pampered the hell out of and I loved
every second of it. I had my first massage (emphasis on the MA)
and my first manicure, which was fantasico, and topped
it all off with a pedicure. lovely. I chose this really cute purple
for my toe nail colour... ya.

numero 4 Got a new pair of glasses, well frames... man I wish I could
show everyone what they look like... no camera. Anyway, you'll all see
them soon! they are this colour and this colour.

numbre fiveeo Got some killer deals at the mall when shopping with
Bec on Tuesday. But the best part of it is I bought a new pair of jeans
from bootlegger for only $10.00!! And they are a size 28!! and I fit
them!! A size 28!!! what the heck!?

so that's my exciting listio. yay spring break !

Friday, March 02, 2007

okay, so long story short...

yesterday woke up with bad gassy feeling
thought, oh not again...
ate some breakfast
then took two extra strength GAS-X (life savers really)
then about an hour later, no change
actaully I was feeling worse than before
then I called Pam for some moral support
she laughed at me
so I went to the only place that could comfort me:
the internet
found out that I might have an enlarged spleen
(but I'm not a doctor,and I try not to be a hypocondriac)
so I worried for about half an hour
then I thought, hey what is out free healthcare for anyway?
so I went to the walk-in clinic
with all these fears of enlarged spleen
and thinking horrible things like splenectomies...
turns out I just have bad gas.
really bad gas.
it's making my back muscle sore on the left side.
very uncomfortable.
kind of embarassing.
now I wish I had an enlarged spleen.

YaY fRiDaY!!

Thursday, March 01, 2007

more than one a week!

so I realized that for the last two weeks I've been posting once a week on fridays... which was unplanned and wierdo a bit... so I decided to stop it today. with this post. right now. there.

so anyway...I only have one day left before my reading week break. and I'm happy, but I'm sick. ad I still have a lot of work to do. soI'm experiencing a bitter sweet feeling about all this...

Oh, here's a good story: This guy came and tuned our (well, mostly my) piano. And now it's beautiful sounding. There's nothing like a freshly tuned piano. Although, have you ever listened to a piano being tuned? It's a pretty cool experience, just being there. I don't know... there's something about hearing each string slip slowly back into perfect pitch, that is almost cleansing in itself. I have a theory that it could be used as a theriputic method.... haha. anyway. that was a great story.

Friday, February 23, 2007

week by restless week

so, one week ago today I was feeling awfully sorry for myself and felt time passing ever so slowly. but then when I checked my blog for comments I found that it has been a whole weeks since my last post and found it interesting that in my real life time can feel just s l o w. but in the sweet, unrealistic and carefree world of blogging time has passed quite quickly. something I have a hard time understanding...


but thinking ahead to next friday, I will be in a state of complete bliss and carefreeness and relaxation; reading week. ahhh.... just the though of it makes me happy... almost serene. I don't think I have ever felt this way about a spring break before. I hope I don't pump it up so much and then dissapoint myself when it comes and it doens't live up to my expectations... I have to be careful. but my change of mind from last friday to today and thinking about next friday is surprising, and lifts my spirits.


but now I know I am just experiencing the "TGIF" feeling, and it will wear off tomorrow, when I remember all the homework to be done and things to catch up on... yes... tomorrow will be sad. But tonight. Tonight I will forget about my academic life and do whatever the crap I want. HA!


that's how I rebel.
this is my feel good painting for friday.
to get the full effect let the first song play while looking at the painting:


Friday, February 16, 2007

LONG LONG LOOOOONNNNGG week...

I'm so glad it's friday. man, this week has been long.
my schedule this semester is so spacey that at the end of one regular week, it feels like two has passed, but hasn't really... time is just moving so slowly for me at the moment, it's almost tortuous.
and my shoes are stinky. I just started to smell it. yuck. time for new shoes.
well that's all I have time for today. can't wait to sleep in tomorrow and do nothing for at least a few hours...

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Oh Valentine's Day...

Well. What can I say? I'm wearing pink and red today; two colours I wouldn't usually wear together on a normal day, but I am festive.

So, this year I am glad to say that I am doing well in the "love department" (oh puke, I can't believe I just typed that... oh well, I'm not going to hit the backspace button a million times...)
But, four years ago today (for some reason or another) I remember being alone all Valentine's Day night. It was sad. And I was sad and alone, and the only thing I could do was sit down with my old eighty-eight key friend and express my sadness... I think this is was came out of it:

sitting alone in my empty house
with nothing to do
waiting on someone who never calls
why would you?

there's nothing for you here
you saw that first
sitting alone in my empty house
with nothing to do...

Anyway... I sure captured that moment. ha. good times.

But now that I'm in love I'm sure if anything comes out of me today it will be happy and all lovey-dovey, blah, blah, blah... I'm not even doing anything special tonight with Nick, I think we're watching a movie. yay. I might get some chocolates. We'll probably eat them all. yum.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

songwriter?

so. this has been my thought process for the last few months:
I write songs. I also write music to go with these songs. I want to make a CD. I don't have any money, and very little time to spend on all this. what if people don't like my music? what if people are critical of my writing? i might take it too personally if people don't like my music. I don't have a lot of confidence, but I know that when it comes down to it, my music is really all I have to express who I am; to express the "me" that not even my sisters see. so what do I do? start? with the little time and money I do have? put everything I have into this thought? that seems too scary to me. i don't want to do it for the wrong reasons either... what happens if I do make a CD and then it stops there? sure family and friends might buy it, but what about people who don't know me? will they like me? will they like my music?
I was reading Cynthia's blog yesterday about her worries for Abbi. I don't know what it is like to have a child, obviously, but of what I have learned and heard about it, it has become an analogy for this CD project. as a woman (and man...) creates a child, I will create this CD. with love and care and support from others I will put a lot of myself into this CD. through the whole process of writing the words and music I will begin to nurture this project and begin to give a part of me to the world. much like when a baby is born, so this CD will be released and subject to the criticisms of those that listen, and I will have made this part of me completely vulnerable to the world and its sometimes hateful eyes. And not only will I be worried about what people think about my creation, but I will worry about what they think of me, the creator... will I be liked? will my CD make a good impression? will those who witnessed me making it have criticise the way I did it?
like a woman has her first child, this will be my first CD. I don't know exactly how to do it! I will say, "Please don't judge it! Don't judge the way I made it and how I cared for it, and put my very self into it! This is a part of me! You judge it and you judge me! This is my first one! I don't know what I'm doing!"
some people think it comes so naturally... the words.. the music... and it does to a point, but then I have to step out of my comfort zone and open the door and try not to let anything bad in while I let the good out, and give it away. when a mother lets her child out of her safe arms and allows it to be subject to the world, it can hurt, the child and the mother, and I'm so afraid of what could happen with my music if I lay it out there for everyone to pick at. after all the time and energy and love and sweat and tears and all of myself I put into it...
I know I can't really compare this to a child, and I could never relate to Cynthia's worries at this time in my life. I'm just nervous, and I want to do this the right way, in the right timing. I just don't think I'm ready right now.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Seriously...

I'm sick of school.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Yay! Friday!! I saved my favorite Monet for friday. It's called Water Lillies.


I think if I had a cd I would use this painting as the main artwork, or background on my cd,
I like it that much... but then I 'd have to come up with a theme... and then have all my songs relate to it somehow... an underlying message, you know, it would have to be a positive, mellow message and then I'd have to top it all off with a killer title... somethin that make a person look twice and want to open the cd, or turn it over... hm... that's gonna take a while...

here's the painting for you to look at while you're waiting:


Thursday, February 01, 2007

wow, thursday with 9 min left to it. that was close.... too close...

it looks very familiar to a painting that was in my piano teacher's house, when I took piano lessons of course, and I always liked it, I always wanted to walk along that bridge and look into the water... and maybe spit? I don't know... what else do you do when looking over a bridge?
anyway, I think I realized this actually wasn't the painting that I remembered after all. Ah, how I love pointless stories... they are the story of my life. and there's another one.

anyway, here's thursdays painting:
title: Water-Lily Pond, Green Harmony

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

wednesday, wednesday, wednesday! my day off, out for breakfast, chat with my new bank manager "Cheryl", and a date with my nicholas. this day off gets a 9/10 (only due to the slight awkwardness during the conversation with my new bank manager "Cheryl")


anyway, here is the monet painting for wednesday
(I tried to find the name of the piece but couldn't
find it anywhere... but I like it so much cause it
reminds me of my sisters)

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

tuesday's painting "The Highway Bridge at Argenteuil"

Monday, January 29, 2007

week of monet


this is monday's painting called "Sunset in Venice"


Wednesday, January 24, 2007

little to none

I don't have much to blog about today,
but I woke up to the snow falling ever
so gently, and it was beautiful and quiet
and started my day off wonderfully.

oddly enough, yesterday my day was
started off with laughter. I don't know
if she felt the same way, but me and
Becky shared a laugh, and I'm not used
to laughing in the morning, but I should
do it more often becuase I was unusually
happy all day. I hope she was too.

here's a picture that'll make you laugh...


Monday, January 15, 2007

ahhh...brings back memories...



painful memories, but good ones.

thanks cynthia!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

a little bit random and out of place.

that's how I would describe myself if someone asked me right now.
(becky put it so nicely yesterday, I thought I'd use it)

so anyway, I wrote this song last night, and the piano part
is like nothing I've ever written before.
kind of a mash between Rufus's 'Moulin Rouge'
and one of the themes from Amelie.
but it's pretty cool. I'll play it for you sometime...

(and I've never actually done this before, but I wrote
this song with the pure intention of being for someone.
nicholas, it's completely about you and for you with
love from me!)


It’s You

I watched you the other day
And you didn’t know it
All other things faded away
And left you and me
And I fell in love with you
Again

I watched as you laughed and smiled
With those around you
You stood facing me with
Messy hair and blue jeans
Then you caught my eye and smiled
Again

It’s your smile that melts me
It’s your tears that break me
It’s your arms that take me in
It’s your voice that calms me
It’s your love that holds me
It’s you, it’s you that makes me whole

Monday, January 08, 2007

first day back to school? piece of angel food cake.

Well, this morning I woke up at 9:30 a.m,
made myself some breakfast,
vacuumed the house,
(crap! forgot to water the plants!!)
ran a few errands,
(double crap!! forgot to put the vacuum away!)
then waited for Eric to pick me up for
my first day of school, which consists of
one class starting at 3:20 pm.
rediculous.
easiest first day back ever.


anyway, this is one of my favourite Waterhouse
paintings called the Rose.

Friday, January 05, 2007

my babysitting de-briefing

for the last three days I babysat/hung out with kids from church, as well as earned money for the europe trip, and it was actaully more fun than I thought it was going to be. I looked after the Peters girls (Amy and Jasmine) and with the giganti pile of snow on the cove near my house we dug a huge fort. I did most of the digging and pooped myself out, but it was fun otherwise, and I remembered what it was like to be a small kid again. and then felt it again the next day when I saw three girls about amy's age on top of the destructed fort the next day, laughing and throwing pieces of it around... ugh... I didn't think I was going to take it so hard, but I was actaully hurt by all my hard work one to waste. but, there will be more forts in the future.

the next two days following this I looked after the Laurendeau's girls (Nicki, Julie and Maddy) which was fun as well. in highschool I used to babysit Nicki and Julie every thursday night for about a year (maybe more) so I got to know them really well then. but they have really grown up since then, and it threw me off a bit at how I now had to be there friend, not a grown up looking after them. it was wierd, but I got over it. We played in the snow together, made pancakes and went skating and to a movie.

And I think I realized within the last three days, that I don't think I could do this all the time. I mean I was wasted everynight when I got home, and I'm really not used to looking after kids, I used to do it almost every weekend in junior high and highschool (well not every weekend, but often enough) Now it's about once or twice a year... but I seriously had enough baby sitting in the month of December for all of 2006 ( I babysat Abbi too, before christmas which was interesting and funny) and it was fun while it lasted, but it's nice not to babysit too.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

christmas is still going!

I got this really awesome cd this christmas.
it makes me feel good, and there are only a
few that really do that for me. I also got
some new shirts, good ones. very pleased.
I was also given a necklace with a moon
stone in it by someone who loves me very
much, and it atually shines a different
colour when in diferent light.

and then I after christmas I went to Pine
Wood Lodge with the Postma's and Oost's
and Visser's; it was amazing. very relaxing
and enjoyable, and finally cold.

and just last week I tried snowmobiling for
the first time, and it was awesome! I wasn't
really sure if I'd like it or not, but I did, and
I want to do it again! soon! anyway, it was
kind of something I was a little afraid of, but
now I'm not anymore, so yay for me!

and this was the first christmas that I was
sick for nearly all of it... kind of poopey, but
it made me apprciated everything more,
like smell and taste and good sleeping...

so back to school in a few days, and no more
laziness. I'm looking forward to it.