The Reality

I am slightly embarrassed to share this, but I have come to accept my sad reality... I was an awful student. I sucked at school. Well, mostly... It's pretty obvious, for anyone who knows me, where my strengths lie. This is proof.

An Ode To Autumn

When the wind starts to chill

and I've lost all my will

to go out and explore past my windowsill,

it must be Autumn.

When apples turn red

and trees start to shed

and their leaves all end up in my flower beds,

it must be Autumn.

And though it is my favourite season,

I fear it leads itself to guilty treason 

as it's colours and scents and beauty end in snowy cold without reason,

it must be Autumn.

But for now I'll settle in,

start the fight to not over eat and never win,

and enjoy the beginning of holiday season with my next-of-kin.

It must be Autumn.

Family Portrait

It warms the cockles of my heart to share this with everyone :) Our first *good family portrait.

*I handed out a christmas photo that was not as good as this one... haha.

Oh My Heaven, I'm 27!

I wasn't really expecting it, especially with a toddler taking up all of my mental concentration and energy, my last two birthdays have kind of snuck up on me! I forgot about aging last year, but I still turned one year older. I'm not opposed to being older, it just keeps happening! I hope to enjoy my 27th year, and maybe I'll be a little more aware of it this year.

(I sometimes think I'm all grown up, then I do stuff like this, haha. Write your own captions :)

Our First Family Road Trip

It was a success! I wasn't sure what to expect while traveling with a two year old, but I have this trick of expecting the worst, so the experience is always better.. haha.
We had a great time! It's so good to get away and mix up routines once and a while. Then you get to come home and settle in again :) Here are a few pics of the trip...

Aali getting in some reading...

We were welcomed into a wonderful home for a few days.
And of course, Aali found all the babies right away!

Uncle Don and Mama singing. Apparently we had a fan in the audience  ;)

Exhausted after a long day of JUNO festivities...

Then we met up with some old and new friends!

It was so good to visit and catch up. We miss them already...

We took advantage of the nice(r) weather for a family walk. Aali definitely made a friend for life!

Iron Deficient

Hello, my name is Kimberly Oost, and I am iron deficient.

Haha... But seriously, it kind of sucks. I was researching the symptoms (after a blood test and a prescription for high dosage iron supplement, so ya'll don't think I'm exaggerating... Bec and Pam...)
Anyway, I found that I have been dealing with low iron for a long time. I don't know what it is about my body that can't hold my own iron.
It's totally possible to live a normal life with low iron for a while, but it's when I'm on the edge of becoming anemic is when it gets pretty annoying. Mostly energy, or lack there of, is hard to deal with especially with an almost 2 yr old at home.
I'm not sure if it disrupts my sleeping, but apparently my tossing and turning could have to do with restless leg syndrome. If you ask my husband, I do indeed have a problem keeping my legs still...
A few other symptoms just made sense, thin, wavy nails (I know, sounds gross, but I do occasionally see a wave in a nail or two)
And, seeing as multiple members of my family have low iron I can say I come by it... genetically. So I guess I do know why my body lacks iron. And I'm seriously thankful for supplements. I would hate to live my whole life deficient.

To Get Me Through The Last Of Winter

I stumbled upon them. They made me happy and hopeful :)

The Oh Hellos' first full-length album, "Through the Deep, Dark Valley," is a self-contained concept album, and so for best results should be listened to in its entirety, in chronological order, in one sitting. 

https://www.facebook.com/theohhellos/app_204974879526524  

Raising Aali

It has been one whole year with our daughter Aaliyah. I'm sure her blood parents would cringe if they heard us call her our daughter, and we hope for her sake that they will continue to love from afar.
She has been an absolute joy in our lives, a blessing, an education, a comfort, a happiness we never knew we could experience before she came along.
She's challenged us, and pushed our buttons, and tired us out, and driven us crazy... But somehow at the end of everyday when she snuggles in our arms, it wipes the slate clean. We wake up the next morning to a new day, and our hearts swell with the joy she brings us.

I have never done anything in my life that gives me more purpose than raising Aali.

Then

And now

My Sacrifice

I'm choosing not to blog about Valentine's day today, though I do like the celebration of love and chocolate... But I would rather talk about myself  ;)

Lent is upon us, as preparation for Easter. It's known as a time to cleanse and refocus and prepare our hearts for celebrating Christ rising again. It really is a great time of year. When I was growing up my siblings and I would give something up for roughly 40 days, from Ash Wednesday to Easter morning. It was usually food, like candy or pop. But as I got older (and wiser.. ha) I started to choose harder things to sacrifice, like computer time or TV. And I think it was important to sacrifice something that I would encounter on a daily basis, or desire on a daily basis because the idea was to revert the desire of wanting that thing to thinking of God, so he would take the place of that thing. And I'm not sure why I liked doing it so much, partly the challenge I think, but maybe because thinking about God more often was actually satisfying and healing, and became almost natural by the end of 40 days.

And I never thought it was weird that chocolate led me to God on a daily basis. Lol.

Well on Ash Wednesday this year, I gave up my iPhone. Everything about it except the time feature and the phone feature, and only the phone part if really necessary.  I'm at home most of the time so our home phone has been used a lot more so far. But already I am struck by how many times (even in an hour) that I have the urge to find it, check my email, check facebook, check the weather, read the news, check my email, play a game, make a list, text someone, did I say check my email?
It's ridiculous.
And I have been spending obscene amounts of time on our computer the past two days, but I know that will diminish after the transition. It hasn't been easy to sit at a computer with an almost 2yr old around, so I've noticed.

So far, these are the pro's of not using:
- Less phone in hand action
- Not obsessing over checking email
- Less scrolling and scrolling and scrolling
- No taking picture or videos of everything I see on a minute basis (they're usually not good anyway)
- I will be saving money this month on our phone bill
- There are probably more I can't think of
- I like the iPhone thoughts reverting to God :)

And the con's:
- I can't read the morning news with breakfast
- I have to make lists of pieces of paper (making a list you can just delete later is great!)
- Checking and replying to emails can only be done once or twice daily
- It's sometimes inconvenient to call instead of text someone
- I've lost a quick, smart map in the car
- I like texting, and I'm missing that already

So, it will be a long 38 more days, but I'm looking forward to missing it less and less as time goes on.
I don't actually know where it is right now. That's a good start! Haha.

Coming Home

I think coming home is one of the most satisfying feelings I will experience. And I tell ya, it's totally amplified when I had a little girl waiting for me. I doubt she knew what she was missing, but the first pitter pat of feet I heard, the first "Mama" called out to me, the first snuggle, it all made me feel so complete. Maybe its just feeling wanted, but I can assure you the love is mutual.
We had a wonderful, stress free time away from our everyday life. I was looking so forward to white beaches and warm winds, but I never thought that I'd miss her that much! I saw other little kids running around and just wanted to scoop them up and hug them! But I'm glad I didn't, I'd probably be thrown out of the resort for craziness... Anyway, the thought of coming home overpowered the desire to be in a surreal, tropical setting. I am home, and now I am satisfied :)
She is where my heart is now...

To Cuba, Or Not To Cuba...

Cuba.

It's almost a year to date that we last visited the tropical wonderland. We will soon have white sand between our toes, warm ocean breeze around us, and one (or two) fruity drinks to cool us down.
I have to confess: I feel very spoiled at the moment. I grew up always in envy of my school mates who travelled to warmer climates during their spring breaks. Although, DisneyLand was the place of my dreams then... Now, white beaches, blue ocean and lazying about is what I dream of. And we're going!
I know, I know... It's not realistic to think I can have this whenever I want to escape the "real world", but when we are there it is the real world. And we're totally spoiled.
And, this is the first time we'll be this far away from Aali together, for 8 days... And it's scaring me. I just got back from NYC, and I have to say, I didn't enjoy the being away part like I normally do. It was hard to separate my every thought from my two loves at home. It will be easier this time. I'll at least have Nick beside me, and the comfort of knowing Aali is with the other people she loves dearly. But I never anticipated that distance between mother and child would be so.... hard.
But, as Nicholas so lovingly pointed out, it will be so very nice to spend some time with each other in a beautiful place like Cuba. We'll make great memories together, and always think back to them when it's -30 with the windchill at home. I'm so looking forward to it.

Anyone else wanna come?

Happy Christmas

I am so very happy to post this picture. It's such a good feeling to have my little family so close.
I am truly blessed. I love my family :) Merry Christmas everyone!

The Family Dog

Neko. We've had her as a part of our family for over 3 years now. It's hard to believe, really. Sometimes it feels like longer, especially this last month. The picture captures how we all (Nick, Neko, myself) feel about our current situation.

Neko has an abscess in her neck that was a result of stick-in-throat incident earlier this year. After the stick thing, her throat swelled up really bad, she went on anti-biotics, it got better, then a small abscess formed, then turned into a big one, then started draining itself... THEN she started scratching. And it got real bad.
She had surgery on it almost a month ago, and I can only laugh, and cry and laugh again when I think about how much this dog has been through. She's luckier than most people in the world... HOW DID IT COME TO THIS??!?!?
And the worst thing is, after the surgery the surgeon told us he didn't think he got all of the stick out, which has proven to be true. We are basically back at square one, and may have to do it all over again.
But, I don't know if we should. Nick absolutely loves her. He has already told me he doesn't want to give her up. I, on the other hand, don't want to give up my vacation money. I mean, I love the stupid dog, but how much do we have to sacrifice for her to just be healthy?? Again, HOW did it come to this?!
Half of me wants to be a responsible pet owner (and because she is a part of our little family) and do what's "right" in our crazy society: get the tests done to find the stupid stick, and get rid of it.
Then the other half of me wants to find a family who would love her, who have a big yard somewhere and who have $$$$ laying around and want to fix her all up.
Do I want to give up? Or do I want to be practical? Is this some kind of a lesson we are being taught? Or is it just that sometimes we makes dumb decisions in life, then we have to live with the consequences?
All this over a stupid dog we came to care so much about. It's not her fault......
I still don't know what to do.

The Stand Still

It's interesting when something drastic, shocking or painful happens in life, the world keeps turning. In birth, in death... It seems like the world should stop. At least for a moment.
I've experienced both. A nephew being born, a grandfather passing... Both experiences had a profound effect on me. I feel as though the world should have at least paused for a moment to witness a great loss, or a beautiful miracle. But it doesn't.
I remember my numb brain after deaths and births in my family, watching strangers go about their business, wanting to stop them in the street and and tell them "I have a nephew! Isn't it a miracle?!", or in frustration as grief swallows me, wanting to shake them and yell, "What's wrong with you?? My uncle just died!! How can you just keep walking around like nothing happened??"
It's uncomfortable, the stand still, whether good or bad there is tension. In the last 5 years there have been 4 births and 4 losses in our family. A lot of change, some easy, some hard. But change is the key... In the moment of the stand still there is no change. No progress. No rewind. At least, my world seems to slow to a stop. Until the shock subsides, and the wound starts to heal and the excitement starts to wear off. The busy strangers around me start to look normal again and I, myself start to feel normal. It's hard being in the middle of this all, but harder yet for me to watch others go through it, to be one of those "people" who seem to be living life as if nothing has happened, like nothing has altered life for the those involved.
Life goes on amidst the stand still, and I guess somehow we all make it through the worst, and look forward to the joy.

An Ode To The Rain

Rain, rain go away
Don't come again some other day.
How many times can I say
I'm sick of the rain today?

You're wet and cold and dreary
And make me feel all sneery.
I'm tired of the clouds all teary!
I think they're making me weary...

I'd rather have snow!
And snowy wind that blows snow.
I guess it just goes to show
I'm sick of the rain... Oh.....

Rain would you go away?
I want to go out with just a sweater, okay?
It's getting close to Christmas, by the way.
It's definitely not springy, wet May.

I'm sick of the rain today.

Playing Catch Up

Here's a few random images since my last blog. Things that kept us busy in the fall...

Nicholas built a fence with the help from his brother and dad

He always makes things look easy...

One night we stood in our back yard and watched the smoke from that huge fuel fire.

Aali made a new friend! (a cute little guy I did respite for)

Right after the fence was done, it snowed something fierce!  (Oct 5th!)

I made an apple pie for Thanksgiving that looked better than the magazine pie!

And... We all had the flu last week. This was Aali's way of dealing with it... haha...

Time Away...

Nicholas and I were able to get away this Labour Day weekend, without Aali and Neko and without any worries of everyday life. It was fantastic! We talked, and laughed and ate great food and took beautiful walks and lazy drives around Clear Lake and reminisced, and thought about our future... It was a bit like old times when we were dating. We didn't do anything special for our anniversary in June, so this was a "better late than never" celebration trip!

Anyway, here are some pictures of our little trip through Riding Mountain...

Beautiful harvest time fields on the way to Virden

Our first stop, visiting Aunty Jan and Ron

Our destination!

Our "Deluxe" Room

Our view of the stables and park

Sitting on the pier waiting for our ship to come in... haha

The Martese! We went on a dinner cruise...

The cabin inside, complete with a bar!

The beautiful views across Clear Lake

A sweet couple took our picture for us :)

Dinner was fairly good...

And looked amazing!

One of our many walks...

A dock path through the marsh near Clear Lake

It was really cool, even though we didn't see any beavers :(

Back at the resort, the horses were so cool to watch

A look out point we stopped at on our way out of the park going home... It was breath taking. 

We had a wonderful time! I think it was actually better than our honeymoon!

Cool Dude

Life and Death

When someone dies, I think it's natural to start to see death all around us. The children in poor countries, the newest natural disaster, we all know someone who's lost a grandparent or parent. It can be pretty depressing. The media seems to thrive on updating us on deaths, or close to death experiences. I haven't quite figured that out. But on the other hand, there is Life.

I have an uncle who's heart stopped just over a week ago today. But he was miraculously revived with help from his wife and paramedics. He's made an amazing recovery and is now at home! I think it's a miracle. And personally, think it should have made at least the local news but I guess it's not big enough news for them.

For me, on the other hand, it's changed my world! I've started to see life everywhere! Our little monkey babbling away with a smile, the thousands of people bustling around the city, my Grandma and Mother talking about the good ol' times. I'm surrounded by life and living things and it makes me enjoy mine so much more. Death has it's place, but I'm thankful for life today. Life should be celebrated!

Olympics

Well, I hardly have time to blog. Between going to the cabin, working on our patio, having fun with Aali and watching the Olympics, I don't have much time for anything else!

But here's a quick thought; I love watching people doing what they seem to be created to do. I get this feeling when I'm watching someone be who they are, almost raw, and vulnerable. I see it a lot in the arts. Watching a John Mayer concert one time I got emotional watching him sing (I forget what song) or play this amazing lick, it was obvious this was the best of him. The natural ability, the love of what he was doing and the pleasure and satisfaction he got from it. It moved me to tears.

Watching the Team gymnastics (men's and women's) brought out the same emotions in me. Anyone who knows me is aware of my emotions, I can't help but express myself when I feel a wave of them. I'm okay with it, it's who I am. These athletes, who have worked SO hard, trained SO hard and push the limits on everything they do, AND to have grace and ease while they are performing, or competing is one of the most amazing things to watch. It comes so easy to them, like breathing. And when they perform and out-do themselves you can see the satisfaction and joy and pride, and it's truly inspiring. It quickened my heart, and gave me shivers and made me well up, just like a good song. It made me want to be like them, not what they do, but how they feel about what they do. I'd like to be like that.

Dominique Pegg for Canada