Coming Home

I think coming home is one of the most satisfying feelings I will experience. And I tell ya, it's totally amplified when I had a little girl waiting for me. I doubt she knew what she was missing, but the first pitter pat of feet I heard, the first "Mama" called out to me, the first snuggle, it all made me feel so complete. Maybe its just feeling wanted, but I can assure you the love is mutual.
We had a wonderful, stress free time away from our everyday life. I was looking so forward to white beaches and warm winds, but I never thought that I'd miss her that much! I saw other little kids running around and just wanted to scoop them up and hug them! But I'm glad I didn't, I'd probably be thrown out of the resort for craziness... Anyway, the thought of coming home overpowered the desire to be in a surreal, tropical setting. I am home, and now I am satisfied :)
She is where my heart is now...

To Cuba, Or Not To Cuba...

Cuba.

It's almost a year to date that we last visited the tropical wonderland. We will soon have white sand between our toes, warm ocean breeze around us, and one (or two) fruity drinks to cool us down.
I have to confess: I feel very spoiled at the moment. I grew up always in envy of my school mates who travelled to warmer climates during their spring breaks. Although, DisneyLand was the place of my dreams then... Now, white beaches, blue ocean and lazying about is what I dream of. And we're going!
I know, I know... It's not realistic to think I can have this whenever I want to escape the "real world", but when we are there it is the real world. And we're totally spoiled.
And, this is the first time we'll be this far away from Aali together, for 8 days... And it's scaring me. I just got back from NYC, and I have to say, I didn't enjoy the being away part like I normally do. It was hard to separate my every thought from my two loves at home. It will be easier this time. I'll at least have Nick beside me, and the comfort of knowing Aali is with the other people she loves dearly. But I never anticipated that distance between mother and child would be so.... hard.
But, as Nicholas so lovingly pointed out, it will be so very nice to spend some time with each other in a beautiful place like Cuba. We'll make great memories together, and always think back to them when it's -30 with the windchill at home. I'm so looking forward to it.

Anyone else wanna come?

Happy Christmas

I am so very happy to post this picture. It's such a good feeling to have my little family so close.
I am truly blessed. I love my family :) Merry Christmas everyone!

The Family Dog

Neko. We've had her as a part of our family for over 3 years now. It's hard to believe, really. Sometimes it feels like longer, especially this last month. The picture captures how we all (Nick, Neko, myself) feel about our current situation.

Neko has an abscess in her neck that was a result of stick-in-throat incident earlier this year. After the stick thing, her throat swelled up really bad, she went on anti-biotics, it got better, then a small abscess formed, then turned into a big one, then started draining itself... THEN she started scratching. And it got real bad.
She had surgery on it almost a month ago, and I can only laugh, and cry and laugh again when I think about how much this dog has been through. She's luckier than most people in the world... HOW DID IT COME TO THIS??!?!?
And the worst thing is, after the surgery the surgeon told us he didn't think he got all of the stick out, which has proven to be true. We are basically back at square one, and may have to do it all over again.
But, I don't know if we should. Nick absolutely loves her. He has already told me he doesn't want to give her up. I, on the other hand, don't want to give up my vacation money. I mean, I love the stupid dog, but how much do we have to sacrifice for her to just be healthy?? Again, HOW did it come to this?!
Half of me wants to be a responsible pet owner (and because she is a part of our little family) and do what's "right" in our crazy society: get the tests done to find the stupid stick, and get rid of it.
Then the other half of me wants to find a family who would love her, who have a big yard somewhere and who have $$$$ laying around and want to fix her all up.
Do I want to give up? Or do I want to be practical? Is this some kind of a lesson we are being taught? Or is it just that sometimes we makes dumb decisions in life, then we have to live with the consequences?
All this over a stupid dog we came to care so much about. It's not her fault......
I still don't know what to do.

The Stand Still

It's interesting when something drastic, shocking or painful happens in life, the world keeps turning. In birth, in death... It seems like the world should stop. At least for a moment.
I've experienced both. A nephew being born, a grandfather passing... Both experiences had a profound effect on me. I feel as though the world should have at least paused for a moment to witness a great loss, or a beautiful miracle. But it doesn't.
I remember my numb brain after deaths and births in my family, watching strangers go about their business, wanting to stop them in the street and and tell them "I have a nephew! Isn't it a miracle?!", or in frustration as grief swallows me, wanting to shake them and yell, "What's wrong with you?? My uncle just died!! How can you just keep walking around like nothing happened??"
It's uncomfortable, the stand still, whether good or bad there is tension. In the last 5 years there have been 4 births and 4 losses in our family. A lot of change, some easy, some hard. But change is the key... In the moment of the stand still there is no change. No progress. No rewind. At least, my world seems to slow to a stop. Until the shock subsides, and the wound starts to heal and the excitement starts to wear off. The busy strangers around me start to look normal again and I, myself start to feel normal. It's hard being in the middle of this all, but harder yet for me to watch others go through it, to be one of those "people" who seem to be living life as if nothing has happened, like nothing has altered life for the those involved.
Life goes on amidst the stand still, and I guess somehow we all make it through the worst, and look forward to the joy.

An Ode To The Rain

Rain, rain go away
Don't come again some other day.
How many times can I say
I'm sick of the rain today?

You're wet and cold and dreary
And make me feel all sneery.
I'm tired of the clouds all teary!
I think they're making me weary...

I'd rather have snow!
And snowy wind that blows snow.
I guess it just goes to show
I'm sick of the rain... Oh.....

Rain would you go away?
I want to go out with just a sweater, okay?
It's getting close to Christmas, by the way.
It's definitely not springy, wet May.

I'm sick of the rain today.

Playing Catch Up

Here's a few random images since my last blog. Things that kept us busy in the fall...

Nicholas built a fence with the help from his brother and dad

He always makes things look easy...

One night we stood in our back yard and watched the smoke from that huge fuel fire.

Aali made a new friend! (a cute little guy I did respite for)

Right after the fence was done, it snowed something fierce!  (Oct 5th!)

I made an apple pie for Thanksgiving that looked better than the magazine pie!

And... We all had the flu last week. This was Aali's way of dealing with it... haha...

Time Away...

Nicholas and I were able to get away this Labour Day weekend, without Aali and Neko and without any worries of everyday life. It was fantastic! We talked, and laughed and ate great food and took beautiful walks and lazy drives around Clear Lake and reminisced, and thought about our future... It was a bit like old times when we were dating. We didn't do anything special for our anniversary in June, so this was a "better late than never" celebration trip!

Anyway, here are some pictures of our little trip through Riding Mountain...

Beautiful harvest time fields on the way to Virden

Our first stop, visiting Aunty Jan and Ron

Our destination!

Our "Deluxe" Room

Our view of the stables and park

Sitting on the pier waiting for our ship to come in... haha

The Martese! We went on a dinner cruise...

The cabin inside, complete with a bar!

The beautiful views across Clear Lake

A sweet couple took our picture for us :)

Dinner was fairly good...

And looked amazing!

One of our many walks...

A dock path through the marsh near Clear Lake

It was really cool, even though we didn't see any beavers :(

Back at the resort, the horses were so cool to watch

A look out point we stopped at on our way out of the park going home... It was breath taking. 

We had a wonderful time! I think it was actually better than our honeymoon!

Cool Dude

Life and Death

When someone dies, I think it's natural to start to see death all around us. The children in poor countries, the newest natural disaster, we all know someone who's lost a grandparent or parent. It can be pretty depressing. The media seems to thrive on updating us on deaths, or close to death experiences. I haven't quite figured that out. But on the other hand, there is Life.

I have an uncle who's heart stopped just over a week ago today. But he was miraculously revived with help from his wife and paramedics. He's made an amazing recovery and is now at home! I think it's a miracle. And personally, think it should have made at least the local news but I guess it's not big enough news for them.

For me, on the other hand, it's changed my world! I've started to see life everywhere! Our little monkey babbling away with a smile, the thousands of people bustling around the city, my Grandma and Mother talking about the good ol' times. I'm surrounded by life and living things and it makes me enjoy mine so much more. Death has it's place, but I'm thankful for life today. Life should be celebrated!