so unimpressed

today I had a voice recital.
nothing too big, just a few other students
that my voice teacher happens to teach.
so I thought.
it turns out that no one had anything to do
today, so they all came to see the, mabye
8 people who were performing, in this small,
hot drama classroom.
so I was fourth to perform. and for the first
time in a long time I got nervous... and it
wasn't that bad while I was sitting down,
I mean, just the regular butterflies partying
it up in my belly, but as soon as I stood up
to introduce my song, my frickin legs started
to shake! what the heck?! this has never
happened to me, and therefore was the only
thing going through my mind right before I
started singing.
anyway, the song I chose I quite happen to
like singing, so it was memorized; imprinted
onto the very brain that at that moment was
incredibly chaotic; I probably could have
sung it in my sleep. and for this I was thankful.
it's the only thing that saved me.
but the thing was, if I stood up straight, with my
feet flat on the floor (soloist edicate) my legs
had a heyday with this position, shaking all
over the place. it was quite embarassing.
so, there I was, standing on the outer part of
my feet, knees slightly bent singing this Italian
aria... man, if my voice teacher was to have
looked at me when all this was going on, I
don't know what I would have done. I also
really wasn't doing the song justice by that
point and I was so embarassed of how I was
performing that I think I actaully laughed in
the middle of the song! What is that??
and then, right after thinking that, one of my
legs did this little dance all by itself and as I
was trying to ignore it, I saw someone glance
down to my leg area and then look back up at
me with one of those "oh that sucks" kind of
expressions. and then I thought, "Holy Mother
of Pearl! does he see what I'm feeling right
now?!? Is it really that obvious?!"
I think that's when I finished, finally, and the
surprising sound of applause allowed me to
give one more retarded laugh before I went to
rest my poor legs and sit down after such a
terrifying event.
I was so umipressed with myself. and my
legs.